July XXL Mag Cover

Posted on May 28 in Headlineby adminPrint

What can I say? I’m no where near gay, but I can’t help but notice the funny shit that XXL has been calling cover stories here lately. As you may recall, a few months earlier XXL featured Snoop Dogg’s skinny ass on the cover in a baggy wife beater. Now these fools put this nigga Rick Ross on the cover and this fat bastard has the audacity to be standing there without a fuckin shirt… or three. Now I’m in full support of the plus sized rappers and all. You know Biggie was the shit. It’s just a line that you do not cross and Ross has found himself crossing that line on a number of occasions here lately. I wanna know what his PR lady is telling this dude. On to what’s on the inside of the magazine, not Ross’ belly!

If you read this magazine then you already know how infatuated they are with G-Unit. The fact that Young Buck has been kicked out of the click should be reason to celebrate for real Buck fans but XXL has a feature about The Game versus YB because as you may have noticed both of them were at one point part of the Unit and have since been cut by 50. Bun B takes some time to talk about the current state of rap music while one page later Webbie shows off his wack ass rolling skills.

The meat of the magazine features some nice regional spreads which unfortunately kicks off with some more nasty ass pictures of Rick Ross topless. Shouldn’t that shit be indecent exposure? It seems as though Florida is the new hotspot as evidenced by the interviews of Flo Rida, Trina, Trick Daddy, DJ Khaled, T-Pain, Plies, Jacki-O, Khia, and Pitbull. XXL shows the sunshine state even more love as they profile some of Miami’s biggest names in production such as Scott Storch, The Runners, Cool & Dre, J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League, and Jim Jonsin. They even take it a step further and profile Birdman, Lil Wayne, and Fat Joe who have semi-relocated to the 305 in the past couple of years.

In some smaller but adequate profiles of some more significant regions across the country XXL takes a look at California, Texas, Louisiana, Georgia, Illinois, and New York. Ain’t it strange how XXL lives in New York, hip hop was born in New York, New York used to be the shit, and now nobody seems to give two fucks about anything coming out of NY.

This issue is quote – unquote the Official Bootleg Issue. Whatever the hell that means. It’s basically summed up by the fact that XXL has finally caught wind that the mixtape game is actually hotter than real albums. Then again maybe they’ve just come to the conclusion that nobody’s even dropping any albums worth doing a review on. Of course this is probably why my numbers are hurting so bad and I’m deciding to diversify my content to keep my readers happy too.

Basically the recession is hitting hip hop hard. Ross can’t find a t-shirt made of enough material to cover his titties and nobody is selling albums worth a shit right now. Maybe the gas is too high for these MCs to go back and forth to the studio a number of times throughout the week and they’re just putting all there throwaway shit on these albums. When is it ever going to get better? Ambition-1 Aint The Shit Bitch, I’m The Mothafuckin Commode!