Soulja Boy – isouljaboytellem (12-16-2008)

Posted on Dec 16 in Reviewsby adminPrint

Last year I didn’t review Soulja Boy’s mainstream debut because I didn’t really respect him as an artist. This year I’ve managed to gain enough respect for him due mainly in part to the fact that he’s actually managed to come out with a second album. I will be blunt in saying that I don’t give two shits about Soulja Boy as a rapper and this review will probably be very lopsided and opinionated. Enjoy!

I’ll try to be fair in listening to this album… let’s see what happens. “I’m Bout Tha Stacks” is annoying as fuck but I have to admit that for a solid ten seconds I was actually movin my shoulders; probably because I wasn’t listening to the garbage lyrics. Soulja Boy might be better off if he stayed his little black ass off the mic and behind the boards. The album’s second offering “Birdwalk” finds the 90s baby yelling random and half way retarded non-sense such as “waah me hit my birdwalk,” what ever the fuck that
means.

I know a lot of my readers are Gucci Mane fans so I won’t call “Gucci Bandanas” a collection of the three dumbest sounding rappers out of Atlanta. You like that don’t you? The beat in all its simplicity is pretty cool but trust me you will feel dumber than Rottweiler shit after you listen to this track. Zaytoven laces Soulja Boy with a certified flame on “Eazy.” Unfortunately this is one of those tracks that will get under the skin of anyone over 22 with low self-esteem. Drumma Boy manages to knock off a half way decent beat on “Rubberbands” but unfortunately Soulja Boy has to rap over it which makes it sound so much worse than it really is. 

The lack of creativity really begins to peak when Soulja Boy makes a complete mockery of rap on “Hay You There” where he seriously spits “you think this shit is funny / I think that you’re a dummy / I have a lot of money.” Consider that I’ve only listened to thirty second of “Wit My Yums On” and I can already tell you that by the end of the track you will be wanting to pick Soulja Boy’s fruity ass up in a short yellow bus.

I just can’t run out of bad shit to say about this cat. On “Go Head” Soulja Boy manages to find some other fuck face kid to spit atrocities alongside him on another one of his mentally challenged rapper anthems. At least Soulja Boy manages to connect with his high school dance team fans with the underage club inspired “Whoop Rico.” Though he can’t rap worth shit Soulja Boy does make an attempt to speak about something relevant on the closing “I Pray (outro).”

After listening to iSouljaBoytellem I can see exactly why I didn’t take the time to listen to SouljaBoytellem.com and why I probably won’t be listening to SouljaBoyspace or SouljaBoy 2.0 or whatever the fuck he decides to title his next album. Some would say that I’m being pretty biased in my opinions of this moron and I must admit that I am. Basically I have no choice but to not buy into somebody black who actually had the audacity to thank dead slave owners. The bottom line here is if you’re not a 14 year old girl and you actually purchase this album then you’re a dickhead!

VERDICT – 6 / 20
LYRICS: 0
PRODUCTION: 2
DELIVERY: 1
CONSISTENCY: 3